“The fairytale has to end for intimacy to begin!”

In this episode, clinical psychologist, Dr. Juli Slattery shares about marriage from the newest edition of her book, Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited: Embracing Your Power in Marriage. Many women begin their marriages with great expectations but struggle to know how to build the kind of relationship they long to have with their husbands.

As her own marriage has grown so has Juli’s passion for teaching God’s design for marriage, intimacy and sexuality. She addresses difficult and rarely discussed topics like disappointment in marriage, biblical submission and sexual intimacy.

When we give God access to our hearts, ambitions and expectations, He gives us the ability to build our marriages and use our power wisely.

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Important Takeaways from Show

We fight against our husband’s growth when we try to force him to be who we think he needs to be
By nature, women want their husbands to be their hero and men want to be the hero
“Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter” – anonymous
Disappointment is a natural part of a marriage story
God gives both men and women power in the relationship and calls them both to use it wisely
Common Challenge – “I want my husband to lead but I want him to lead the way I tell him to”
Common Dilemma – “I want my husband to step up but I can’t get out of my own way”
Fear can drive us to use our power negatively
Love is a choice; true love perseveres even when it is not felt
Marriages are designed to represent the relationship between Christ and the Church
Have empathy for your husband
Remember you’re on the same team
God purposefully created our husbands differently than us and our children are better off because of those differences
Trust is a growing and changing component in a marriage
Forgiveness and grace are key to building intimacy
God can reclaim and redeem what has been broken and lost in our hearts
The most powerful wife on earth is the one who chooses to yield her power to build intimacy and grow her husband’s confidence
Submission is not the absence of power; it is the wise application of power
A husband’s great power is meant to be used to sacrificially love his wife like Jesus loves the Church

2 Needs Husbands Have that Give their Wives Power in the Marriage

Respect – When it comes to your husband’s confidence, your words hold the power of life and death. Your husband is asking questions like “Am I enough?” “Do you believe in me”? and “Am I your hero?”
Help – As their Helper we are called to address sin and issues with love as a sister in Christ

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

~ John 13:35

Links from Show

Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited: Embracing Your Power in Marriage

Java with Juli Podcast

Website for Christian Leaders on Navigating Sexual Issues

[Disclosure: I make a small commission from affiliate links used in this post.]

Connect with Dr. Juli Slattery

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Connect with Joanna

Facebook | Pinterest | Instagram | Twitter

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