If Michael Bay movies are orange juice, "Con Air" is orange-juice concentrate—loaded with stars, explosions and plot holes. What else would you expect from Shat The Movies commissioner extraordinaire Frank F?

Simon West's directorial debut had the Shat Crew scratching their heads. The geography makes no sense. The crime makes no sense. The courts make no sense. Even prison had Dick and Gene confounded.

But there was no mystery to the entertainment factor of this summer blockbuster. Cartoon bad guys, over-the-top action sequences and some of 1997's hottest actors make "Con Air" a standout movie ... even if it isn't a particularly good one.

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