Would you like to know how to quit smoking?

Dr. Ross Shields can help you start stopping. If you want to quit smoking, just understand that you can’t stop without starting to stop. No one knows this more than Dr. Ross. Let us pray.

Whether you smoke 2 packs a day or 14 packs a day, Dr. Ross can help. He himself is a smoker, so he gets it. His secret: he inhales the smoke into his diaphragm, not his lungs.

Before he begins, Dr. Ross talks about the Bentley he bought in LaJolla.

He uses it for family camping, even though he doesn’t have kids in this dimension. It’s more for inter-dimensional camping.

And now, Dr. Ross tells you how to quit smoking:

In as little as 3 hours, 10 minutes and 2 seconds, Dr. Ross can cure you of smoking, even if you have been smoking poison ivy. He uses a 12-step program, and he shares steps 1, 2, 3 and 9 with you today. His video can be purchased for $8.99.99, times tax times 10.

He addresses third-hand smoke, which is when smoke gets stuck to your clothes. Spray n’ Wash isn’t strong enough to overcome it.

Patient one: Dan Scarabino. Dan smokes 14 packs a day.

Patient two: Reverend Hibachi. He’s worked with Tony Robbins, Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, Sgt. Alfred, Keanu Reeves, and Hannah Montana. He’s read the Bible 17 times. He started smoking at 8 years old. As a preacher, he would smoke at the pulpit. His congregation didn’t appreciate that, so he turned to Dr. Ross for help.

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