I recorded this episode 3 days after my birthday. I had been recording daily diary entries of me just unpacking my thoughts and this is one of the earlier entries. In this diary entry, I recognize a friend & our friendship no longer existed in the capacity it once did. I grieved the loss of a really good friend, someone I trusted, loved, confided in, and found real friendship with.

I will always respect when someone is honest and truthful with you; yet the loss of a friendship hurts like death, because it is. the death of a friendship. And as they say... truth hurts.

What I've learned here is you want to always check in with someone before you emotionally dump or unpack your thoughts with somone. Even if said person has expressed they are open to being a listening ear, you should ALWAYS ask for permission. Some example phrases are:

"do you have the emotional space to hear this?"

"can I share something with you that may be triggering?

"do you have the mental bandwith for me to share something with you?"

"you feel like hearing this bullshit?"

"can i tell you what I've been going through for real? you cool with me unpacking this with you?

Asking for permission is simultaneously protecting you and the other person's mental health. Creating a safe space for unpacking whatever you may share is an important step in the healing process. It also giving the other person the opportunity to check in with themselves, to be sure they are best prepared to listen, hear you, & support you.

Thanks for listening...

Learn more: diaryofamadblackman.com

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