Intro:Hello, and welcome to episode 138 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Pre- and peri-menopause

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Body of episode:

So, pre-and peri-menopause. I’ve been wanting to talk about this for quite some time. I hope this content helps you recognize signs you may have ignored or missed. And how to deal.

As I did the research for this episode, I realized this content might be quite triggering, so please know that upfront, and maybe wait to listen until you are in a good place. Maybe tomorrow you will feel better than today, for instance. Just FYI.

Remember to check the show notes for all of the links I used in the research for this episode.

Let’s get started:

According to Let’s Get Checked:

‘Hot flashes, night sweats, mood changes, and difficulty having a good night's sleep; the signs and symptoms of menopause in women are all too well known by most but aren’t believed to be experienced by many until they hit their 50s; with 51 being the average age in the United States, according to Mayo Clinic [1].

To set the record straight, menopause doesn’t happen overnight. In fact, your body can take a significant period of time before menopause to transition, this is known by experts as perimenopause or premature menopause by some. So if you’re experiencing menopause symptoms at a ‘not so’ menopausal age, this might be why; some women will notice certain shifts in their 40s and some might notice perimenopausal symptoms as early as their 30s.’

Perimenopause, which translates to ‘around menopause, includes symptoms such as:

Vaginal dryness
Irregular menstrual cycles or heavy periods
Hot flashes
A shift in cholesterol levels
Sleep problems

Other emotional symptoms can include:

Irritability
Lack of motivation
Fatigue
Mood swings or changes

I don’t know about you but I never attributed fatigue to the possibility of peri-menopause. Probably because like many of you, my daily to-do list is as long as the day. We all have so much to do every day right?

Now the hot flashes, I can write a book! I take a supplement that seems to help. Because I am not a clinician, I will not mention any names. I will say that it is something I get from my local health food store.

I did a lot of research, taking many different types until I found one that actually worked. I went the natural way because I really did not want another prescription drug in my system.

Of course, if a prescription works best for you, do what is best for you. And definitely have a conversation with your ob-gyn or general practitioner.

Now I’m going to be honest with you: I really thought that pre-menopause and peri-menopause were on opposite ends of the spectrum. I can’t even explain why I thought that, but here we are.

Anyway, according to Healthline:

‘Premenopause and perimenopause are sometimes used interchangeably, but technically they have different meanings…’ they go on to say that ‘premenopause is when you have no symptoms of perimenopause or menopause.’ OK. Well, kinda makes sense since pre- means before right? But honestly, peri- means about the same thing, before, near, etc.

Once again, that’s why it’s always a great idea to do research.

Healthline also says ‘You still have periods — whether they’re regular or irregular — and are considered to be in your reproductive years. Some hormonal changes may be occurring, but there are no noticeable changes in your body. On the other hand, during perimenopause, you’ll start to experience symptoms of menopause.’

Now, I don’t know about that. I believe that if ‘some hormonal changes may be occurring’, then symptoms must be evident. You may realize some time down the line in your pre-/peri-menopause journey, that you will look back and say ‘wait, I do recall that feeling or that episode. That’s my humble opinion, for whatever it’s worth.

Well, as I continued my research, I came upon Web.MD’s take on pre-and perimenopause. Always gotta see what is going on at WebMD. They say that:

‘Perimenopause, or menopause transition, begins several years before menopause. It's the time when the ovaries gradually begin to make less estrogen. It usually starts in women's 40s but can start in their 30s or even earlier.

Perimenopause lasts up until menopause, the point when the ovaries stop releasing eggs. In the last 1 to 2 years of perimenopause, this drop in estrogen speeds up. At this stage, many women have menopause symptoms.

They also say that:

How Long Does Perimenopause Last?

The average length of perimenopause is 4 years, but for some women, this stage may last only a few months or continue for 10 years.’ Key: Perimenopause ends when women have gone 12 months without having their period.

Also in my research, I came across a site called ASRM–American Society for Reproductive Medicine. They have pretty similar information. One thing that stood out, and this may be a trigger for some of you: ‘ Pregnancy is rare but not impossible, so contraception is still needed to avoid pregnancy.’ Hmph. So there’s that.

Finally, Franciscan Health. They really get straight to the point, I mean “Your ovaries are shutting down, but the process takes some time. That process is called perimenopause." Whew!

They do also say that ‘The first perimenopause sign is typically a disruption of your menstrual cycle. For many women, your period starts earlier or later than normal. For example, if your menstrual cycle has always been 28 days, during perimenopause, your period could come as early as 21 or as late as 35 days. Some women start skipping months entirely and then experience heavier-than-normal periods when they do have them.’

So although many women have experienced this, if you have not yet, here’s your FYI. If your period arrival times start to go awry this may be why. Mine showed up like clockwork (thanks mom for showing me how to count the days). Because I had fibroid issues, my experience with pre-peri-menopause was not long-lived.

I will tell you that my experience included what I call man-made menopause and natural menopause. When I was trying to buy time hoping to meet Mr. Right, I agreed to an intramuscular injection that was used to reduce the size of fibroids. The medication came in a monthly form and a quarterly form. I tried both. This medication had to be injected by the doctor, um, in the buttocks. Yeah. So actually I went through menopause twice.

But the side effects were horrendous! I was so upset, moody, short-tempered. Just terrible. I eventually advised my ob-gyn that I just couldn’t do it anymore. I felt like if I had continued on the medication I would have to be committed. Yes, it was that bad. In fact, the hot flashes from this man-made menopause were in my opinion much worse than natural menopause.

Every time I stopped any type of treatment during that 10 year period, I felt so down and dejected. I just wanted to know what it was that I did wrong to be in this situation.

If you are asking the same questions just know that you did nothing wrong. Life is indiscriminate. That’s it. Indiscriminate. Don’t beat yourself up. Do the best you can physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally; to care for yourself.

As I always say, find a doctor, an ob-gyn who is committed to your care. My Ob-gyn committed to going on my journey with me. He did not push me toward the hysterectomy, but when I was ready he was very positive and encouraging, advising me that he knew it was a difficult decision but that I was going to have an exponentially better quality of life. In the end, he was right. But it was definitely not what I wanted to hear at the time. It was a difficult time. But I made it! And so can you.

If you are or think you are dealing with pre-or perimenopause, please talk to your healthcare provider. And be sure to do your own research so that you can have an engaged and fruitful conversation with your doctor.

Notice I always say to get a second opinion and even change doctors if you feel your doctor is not listening? Well, pre-, peri-, and menopause, are the areas where they are not known for listening very much. I hate to brush with a broad stroke, but I have heard so many women say, myself included; that they were prescribed ahem, a medication to calm their nerves when complaining about sleeplessness, hot flashes, etc. Don’t just accept that a ‘calming prescription’ is the only way to fix these issues. So, yeah, do your homework, do your homework, do your homework.

Get a second opinion, see what your hormone and estrogen levels are, see what your doctor suggests, see what is available OTC–over the counter. Know your body.

Research links:

https://www.letsgetchecked.com/articles/what-is-perimenopause-signs-symptoms-and-causes/?imp=cpc&gclid=Cj0KCQiAgP6PBhDmARIsAPWMq6lxO1QBaioj4C5CTXG9WeSZUyl_TxDSS9Pf4qOwPFhsH_WaPBgjPZgaAoYNEALw_wcB

https://www.healthline.com/health/menopause/difference-perimenopause

https://www.webmd.com/menopause/guide/guide-perimenopause

https://www.asrm.org/isitmenopause/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAgP6PBhDmARIsAPWMq6nWedffRwB4EEjK3UfxkPrbXeRmMNYqI8KQytewQeR3RQenoc1M07EaAvKeEALw_wcB

https://www.franciscanhealth.org/community/blog/first-signs-of-perimenopause

Articles/links of interest:

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-115-facing-childlessness-with-art-my-interview-with-dr-krista-cooper-2/

My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

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